I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
