so that wasnt chicken after all
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize