i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Screwed.edu
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
