i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
