I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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