allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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