Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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