We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
