Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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