i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
