I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize