I'm drive I can fine osifer
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
