Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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