I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
