if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
