Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
