He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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