Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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