I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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