Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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