we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
