no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
