I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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