why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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