Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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