Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
