Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
