I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We're too hungover to prance.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
