We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
