careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
