pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize