I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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