that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
