it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
