And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
