I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
