So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
how drunk are you?
Several
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
