oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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