dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
