Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
