porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
