I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Houston, we have a blender
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
