Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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