apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
