hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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