I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
