You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
