I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
