Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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