Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my mouth tastes like poor choices
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize