At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
