Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the condom got lost in my hair
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
