Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
