I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
