after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
