She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize