By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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