he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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