I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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