Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
