Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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