Quick, to the slutcave!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
