Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I had to cum in my sink.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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