Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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