Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
