So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
