this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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