If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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